The most unnatural thing in the world
Yesterday we had a real treat, we were invited to the wedding of our friends Nico and Bianca. The day was simply beautiful and quickly became a cherished memory in our family's London adventure. We felt very honoured to be invited and even more honoured that invitation extended to our whole family. Seeing my 4 Princesses dressed up was a breathtaking sight and one that I am not going to share with you. Sorry, photos of my kids don't exist on the internet but if you want to imagine what my kids look like just take a look at how incredibly beautiful my wife is. I am proud to say my kids have my wife's beauty, her smile, her charm, her intelligence and my..... last name.
One of my favourite things I get to do in my life is to be an advocate for marriage and having children. I don't really have the words to express it, but I am going to try. I have been married for 14 years and I don't remember life before her. That is not a classy saying, I generally don't. Yes, I have memories before the 1st March 2003 (the day I met Jasmine) but when I think of them I have edited her in. It's like she has always been there because she was there...because I was there. Each day we spent with each other we slowly started intertwining our lives. We started to share thoughts, dreams, passions and desires. Then on a sunny winter's day in August 2007, we became one spiritually, physically and legally when we were married in front of family and friends, just like Nico and Bianca. So now 14 years worth of time spent, memories made, laughs laughed, tears shed and so many hugs I can't tell the difference between my life and hers. So when I look back and see me, I also see her.
This is a scary thing for the young independent person, those self-made men and women who want to achieve success. To be that vulnerable to another person is something that seems counter-intuitive to getting ahead. It could leave you open to being hurt which could be a major setback to you hitting your goals. But that is the beauty of this - when you find someone willing to share their life with you, most of your young independent person goals fade into insignificance.
We sat at a great table at the wedding, sharing it with two amazing couples, one newly married and the other one dating. Seeing I have mastered the art of being equal parts charming and cheeky, I questioned the dating couple on how close they were to getting engaged. I know that sounds direct, but you are underestimating how charming I am. It became obvious by how the male burst into laughter and turned a bit red, whilst the female just made a face that said 'you need to ask him'. I told them I couldn't recommend marriage enough to which she asked a fantastic question: 'what is the best part about getting married?' I took a deep breath and then told them about the most unnatural thing in the world.
It's the wedding! There is nothing natural about a wedding. We spend between 3 - 24 months planning this event - just to put it into perspective, the Coronation of a Monarch only takes 14 months to plan. We have to figure out the entangled web of relationships in our families that would make the Kardashians blush, just to work out the seating plan. We learn a whole new language with words such a Bonbonniere and Boutonniere, Corsage and Cummerbund (I promise I didn't make any of those up). We have to rank our friendships in order to cull down the list to afford the $250/head cost, yet are forced to invite our estranged Uncle Frank who we have never met and his girlfriend of 2 months. Then on the big day, we need to stand up in front of everyone which for many people is scarier than the lifelong commitment they are about to make. There are a lot of things that are wonderful about a wedding but there is nothing natural.
I told my new friends about this and they laughed along. Why would anyone want to put themselves through this? Besides it being a beautiful way to start your life together and celebrate with your family and friends who ranked high enough, it is all worth it for what comes after. No, not that...well yes that, but that is not the point. I will give you a moment to stop grinning.
After the wedding, when the cake has been packed away and the guests have wandered home. After the honeymoon and the incredible time together just the two of you. After you get home and finish opening the last of the presents. When everyone has moved their attention onto the next engaged couple or expectant parents. No lights, no music, no speeches, no photos, just you and the one who chose to spend the rest of their life with you. That moment right there is my favourite thing about getting married. Just husband and wife together... it's the most natural thing in the world.